There’s a lot of talk about how Executive Assistants and Force Multipliers should be “respected as strategic partners.” And while I agree with the sentiment (yes, respect is critical for a successful working partnership), it’s not something that shows up on day one just because you do.
Respect is earned. It’s built. It’s given by others based on how you consistently show up.
And it works both ways.
Think about the individuals you respect the most. What qualities do they have? Did you respect them the second you met them or saw them speak at a conference? Maybe you admired them from afar, but real respect takes time. Time for you to learn how they operate, to trust that they would show up and do what they said they were going to do, and to see how they treated you and others.
I would suspect it takes at least a little time for you to truly respect someone, so we should extend that same grace to our leaders and colleagues as we work to earn their respect.
Let’s break this whole respect thing down.
Respect Defined
Respect is generally defined as a deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements. It can also mean due regard for the feelings, wishes, rights, or traditions of others.
In the context of professional relationship (especially in Force Multiplier roles), we can think about respect as follows:
- R- Recognition of your competence, judgment, and contributions
- E – Equity in how you’re treated in meeting, decision-making, and company culture
- S – Servant Leadership to understand and prioritize your needs, to be invested and committed to your success, as well as shared goals, and to be humble in the pursuit of serving others first
- P – Partnership in seeing respect as a mutual effort, not a one-way street
- E – Empathy to actively listen, be present, understand your perspective, and respond with care and candor
- C – Consideration for your ideas, boundaries, time, and voice
- T – Trust in your ability to handle sensitive information and make smart decisions
Put simply: Respect is not about being liked. It’s about being seen, heard, and valued for who you are and what you bring to the table.
And don’t forget… earning respect is just half the battle. Are you embodying these qualities (like empathy, consideration, and partnership) to show respect to others?
What Does Respect Really Mean for Force Multipliers?
Ultimately, respect in the Executive Assistant or Force Multiplier role is about being trusted – no fancy leadership title or deep understanding of your role needed (though those things would be nice!).
It’s about your voice being heard in a meeting, your recommendations carrying weight, and your partnership being viewed as essential, not optional.
It means people value your judgment, believe in your work ethic, and see you as someone who makes things better by being in the room.
How Do You Earn Respect?
You can’t walk into a role and expect automatic authority or respect. You earn respect through consistent action and intention. Here’s how:
- Deliver. Always. Get it done on time, with excellence, and without drama.
- Be impeccable with your word. Say what you’ll do, do what you say.
- Think beyond the task. Anticipate, problem-solve, and proactively remove friction for your leader and team.
- Understand the business. Speak the language of the company (such as upcoming projects, industry trends, financial implications, cross-functional problem-solving, staffing challenges, and more), not just the task at hand.
- Hold the line. You protect boundaries, values, priorities, not just for your executive, but for yourself.
- Show respect to get respect. This isn’t about hierarchy; it’s about how you treat people at every level.
Respect comes when people see that you’re for the mission, for the team, and that you’ve got both the strategy and the ability to make things happen.
And If You’re Still Not Respected?
Here’s the truth: you can do everything right and still not be respected by the person or people you work with.
Maybe they’re not ready for a strategic partner. Maybe they don’t value the Force Multiplier mindset. Maybe they simply don’t know what to do with a strategic business partner like you (even if you’ve tried to show them!).
That’s not a reflection of your worth. It’s a reflection of the room you’re in.
And it might be time to find a new room.
One where your skills, mindset, and contributions are valued. One that understands the strategic impact a right-hand partner can have on the success of the executive and the company. One where respect isn’t something you have to constantly fight for, but something you build on, together.
Respect Yourself
Respect matters. It’s the foundation of effective partnerships, influence, and growth. But it’s not a given. You earn it. You model it. You hold the standard.
And if you’re not getting it after doing the work?
You don’t shrink. You move.
Because the right room is out there. Know your worth. Respect yourself. Make your move!
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